


Not all Angels

by Larry5everbtches



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 01:44:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8268068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larry5everbtches/pseuds/Larry5everbtches
Summary: Tracklist:    1) Something Great- One Direction    2) Parachute- Ingrid Michaelson    3) You're Beautiful- Chester See    4) Resolution- Matt Corby    5) Find a Way- SafetySuit    6) Daddy Issues- The Neighbourhood    7) If I had a gun...- Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds    8) Thunder Clatter- Wild Cub    9) Angels Forever- Lana Del Rey





	

Louis sat at home, waiting for something to push him over the edge. He already had a plan to kill himself, now he just needed a catalyst- a reason. Well, besides the abusive boyfriend, hateful parents, and insufferable emptiness inside him of course. But Louis was very content on his living room couch, hating himself. He needed some motivation to get off his ass and get to the train station. 

"Hey honey! I'm home!"

Fabulous. Nicholas was home. Louis knew just how to proceed. 

"Why are you late?" He cried.

Nicholas gave Louis a dark look. "I'm late by like, half an hour. I went out with some co-workers." 

"You were with that boy again weren't you?"

Nicholas closed the space between them in two angry strides and pointed his finger in Harry's face. "Shut. Up." He spat.

"You're a cheating bastard, Nicholas."

Nicholas backhanded Louis hard across the face. "You don't talk to me like that!" he roared. Tears rolled down the side that Nicholas slapped from the impact. His cheeks were stinging. He grabbed his bag from the couch and ran out of the house. "That's right!" Nicholas yelled after him. "And don't even think about coming back!" He always said that. But this time, Louis was gone for good.

It was winter, and snowing outside, but Louis hadn't bothered to grab his coat. The walk to the train station took about thirty minutes, but it felt like hours. When he got there, he walked the long stretch of tracks, past people with faces he didn't know and would never know. He kept walking until the crowd of people died out and it was just him and the tracks. No need to scar anyone for life. He took a train schedule out of his bag. The next train would be at the station at 5:55 so around him at 5:50. Louis checked his watch. It was 5:49. It was now, or it was never. Louis could hear the train in the distance, choo-chooing. Black smoke filled the foggy air. He stepped on the tracks. At this point, if the train tried to stop, it wouldn't be able to. Thank God for physics. The wind kissed his hair, blowing it wildly across his face. The snow whipped around him, covering his pale skin with white flurries. He should have been cold, but the adrenaline pumping through his body warmed him. He closed his eyes and waited.

Waited.

Waited.

Waited.

Louis woke up lying in a field of white. There was nothing around him but cold wetness. Was this death? Louis eagerly put his hand over his heart. Still beating. Confused, he looked towards the tracks, only to see a mangled figure squished in between the rails. 

Blood painted the rungs. Flecks of skin spread over the rocks. Crushed bones littered the tracks. A single curly lock of brown hair lay on Louis's chest. Someone had saved Louis from the tracks, dying for him. He didn't know whether to call the police, or cry, or simply wait for the next train. Finally, he decided to just walk home. 

When he got there, Nicholas was absent. Perhaps he had set off to find Louis. Maybe he was with that man. Louis couldn't care less either way. He lay down on their twin-sized bed and as his head hit the pillow, the magnitude of the situation hit him as well. A person, who probably actually valued life, had died for a man who wanted to throw his life away. Exhausted, Louis cried himself to sleep.

~~~

The next morning, Louis woke up to a bagel, tea, and a note on his bedside table. 'Baby,' it read. 'I'm so sorry we fought last night. Enjoy your breakfast and let me take you out to dinner. I love you xx.' Louis sipped his tea, but threw away the bagel. He spotted the morning paper on the dining room table and sat down to read it. MAN FOUND CRUSHED AT TRAIN TRACKS, read the headline. He thought it'd just been a bad dream. Louis's hand went limp and his cup crashed to the floor. Louis was tempted to call the police and tell them everything that happened but he was afraid they'd try to admit him.

Once again, he was stuck, dangling over the edge.

He went to the bathroom and locked the door. He threw up what little tea he'd drank and continued to dry heave. When he looked in the mirror, he didn't know who he was looking at. The bags under his eyes had bags, like he hadn't slept in weeks. Louis opened the drawer that contained his shaving materials and pulled out his razor. 1,2,3 marks in his arm. He knew he needed to cut deeper but he was scared. He sliced 3 more lines on his thigh. Finally, he landed on the idea of just stabbing himself in the chest. Quick and easy, just like the train. He would do it on the count of three. There was no time to think about the consequences, if any. 1. He clenched his fists tighter around the handle. 2. He squeezed his eyes shut. 3. "Wait." Louis heard whispered in his ear. Louis yelped and shot up to his feet, razor clattering to the floor. No one was around, obviously, he had locked the door. Was he going completely insane? All at once, an overwhelming wave of guilt. Just yesterday someone gave up his life for him, and he was about to make that for naught? Louis looked down at his bloodied arm and winced at the pain he felt all of a sudden. He wrapped a wet towel around his arm. Some of his cuts were rather deep and he entertained the thought of going to the nearest hospital but once again, he didn't want to be admitted. They were going to throw him in the loony bin for sure. When he opened the drawer to replace his razor, he saw a cowlick of brown curls lying on the floor. 

~~~

That evening, Nicholas took Louis out to his favorite French restaurant. He blabbed on and on about the promotion that he'd been offered only to be taken away by a new guy from a partnering company. "Isn't that complete bullshit?" He bellowed. 

Louis was silent. 

"Say something!" Nicholas demanded, annoyed. 

"I have to go to the bathroom." Louis excused himself. 

Louis had been having crying spells all day, mourning the mysterious person who had saved his miserable life. If they had known how desperately Louis wanted to end it, would they have still pushed him out of the way? At the same time, Louis was angry with this person. Who gave them the right to save him:? And what kind of idiot gives up his life for a man he didn't even know? In the bathroom, Louis checked the stalls to make sure he was alone. He splashed cold water on his face in the hopes of... he didn't know what, freezing his tear ducts or something. Some of the hair in his quiff got wet in fell out. He looked ridiculous. Like a soggy dog. He sobbed unabashedly. He punched the walls until his fists were raw. Then he crumpled into a little ball like paper in the corner of the room, rocking back and forth. Suddenly, he heard a toilet flush. Louis scrambled to his feet and bolted towards the door, but froze when he saw the man come out of the stall. Yes, he was tall and very handsome, but that's not what stopped him. Piled on top of the man's head were brown curls, nearly identical to the ones that kept popping up around Louis. 

"Er..." Louis said once he got some of his wits about him. "Sorry about my little freakout-" The man stepped closer to Louis and pulled him into his chest for a long embrace. "Please don't hurt yourself." The man murmured before letting him go. He stepped around Louis and exited the bathroom. For a second, Louis couldn't move. When he finally thawed out and left the bathroom, the man was nowhere to be found. 

~~~

When Nicholas took Louis home, he wanted to have sex. He pulled Louis into their bedroom and pushed him onto the bed. Sex was the furthest thing from Louis's mind, but he obliged, knowing that in the end, Nicholas would ultimately do what he wanted. When Nicholas was finished, he collapsed on top of Louis and Louis could barely breathe. That was their entire relationship. Nicholas getting everything he needed and leaving Louis struggling for air. 

Louis wanted to leave him, but he had no job skills and nowhere to go. Nicholas had a wonderful job and paid for the house. Louis hadn't gone to school after being kicked out of his parent's house at 17. Nicholas said no one else would ever want Louis, that he was a pathetic slut. And he was right. After being kicked out, Louis sold his body for money for food. Nicholas found him in a dark alley, beat up and left to die next to a pile of trash. Louis owed everything to Nicholas. 

When Nicholas finally went to sleep, Louis untangled himself from his arms and went outside for a cigarette. He was still afraid to leave the house at night, but Nicholas wouldn't allow Louis to smoke and this was the only time Louis could get his fix. He stayed close, just sitting on the front porch. He lit his cigarette and finally felt the first sense of calm he'd felt all day. Well, besides being in the bathroom, receiving that hug from the warm stranger. Louis couldn't quite pinpoint why, but being in his arms was the closest thing to home he'd felt in years. He sucked in the earthy taste of his American Spirit and exhaled into the freezing night air. He could see his breath, and it reminded him he was alive. Don't hurt yourself. Louis reflected on the beautiful stranger's request and silently promised him that at least tonight, no matter how shit he felt, he would not hurt himself.

~~~

About a week later, Louis was cleaning the house and was home alone. He was jamming to some Ingrid Michaelson. I just wanna be OK, be OK, be OK... 

After vacuuming, Louis decided to take a break and go to his favorite coffee shop, Brewed Awakenings. He grabbed his fur lined coat and left the house. Nicholas didn't like Louis going out by himself, but he wouldn't be home until later. After ordering a cup of English Breakfast, he sat at his favorite window seat by the entrance. He loved to watch the customers come in and guess what they would order. 

Skinny brunette with the baggy jeans? Nonfat vanilla latte... she was trying to hide her already thin frame. 

Disheveled emo guy who looked like he just woke up? Triple espresso for sure. 

The tall man who walked in... 

The man who had hugged him in the bathroom had just walked into the coffee shop. His notorious curly brown hair was pulled back by an orange headband and his skinny jeans clung to his thighs for dear life. When he saw Louis, he smiled and waved. Louis's mouth dropped open and his face felt hot. The mysterious man ordered his drink- Louis had no idea what- and came to where Louis was sipping his tea and avoiding eye contact.

"Mind if I sit?" Harry drawled in a deep, creamy voice. Louis, unable to speak, shook his head and gestured to the booth across from him. He set down his cup and Louis recognized the aroma- English Breakfast. Unlike Louis, however, the man dumped a heap of sugar and honey into his tea. 

"So how are you doing today, Louis?"

Louis quirked an eyebrow. "How do you know my name?"

The man shrugged. "You told me in the bathroom." Louis didn't recall saying a word.

"Well, you didn't tell me yours." Louis said. "I'm Harry." Harry stuck out his hand. "Nice to see you again." Louis shook Harry's hand and shifted his eyesight back to his tea. "Are you feeling any better than the last time we spoke?" Harry asked. Louis nodded his head vigorously and pasted on a huge smile. "Oh yes! Much better, thank you!" Harry cocked his head and looked into Louis's eyes. Louis noticed that his eyes were very green. "No you're not." Harry said quietly. Louis looked back into Harry's eyes. "No, I'm not. But I'm not about to burden you with that."

"Louis," Harry said, reaching out to put his hand over Louis's "You are not a burden. You are a human. And in my eyes, that means you deserve kindness and happiness." 

Louis felt a tingle run down his arm and down his spine from the contact. Why was it any time this practical stranger touched him he suddenly felt so... safe?

"I tried to kill myself last week." Louis admitted. Harry didn't even blink, just simply squeezed his hand, prompting him to continue. 

"I walked in front of a train and a stranger pushed me out of the way. He died."

Louis's voice shook and Harry stroked the back of his hand with his thumb. "Do you feel like doing that to yourself now?" Harry inquired.

Louis took a sip of tea with his free hand. "Yes... no... I don't know what I want." Louis sighed. "I just want a magic spell that makes all the pain go away."

"And where does that pain come from?"

One more look into Harry's sincere eyes and Louis felt the need to tell him everything. About the parents who didn't love him as parents should. The boyfriend who treated him like a punching bag. The history of escorting that tore his self-esteem to shreds. Throughout the the whole story, Harry continued to hold Louis's hand, rubbing it at particularly hard parts.

"Why are you still here?" Louis asked. "Most people would have left by now." 

Harry removed his hands from Louis's and Louis was afraid he'd do just that-leave. But instead, Harry nervously twiddled his thumbs. "Louis?" He whispered. "I have to tell you a secret." Louis looked puzzled. "Louis," Harry started. "I'm the man who saved you from the train." 

Louis glared at Harry. "That's not funny." 

"It's not a joke. I'm... an angel." 

Louis stood up abruptly. "You're crazy is what you are. Leave me alone." He couldn't get out of the coffee shop fast enough.

~~~ 

When Louis got home, he was greeted by a hand to the throat. Nicholas dragged him inside. "Where were you?" Nicholas yelled. "I-" Nicholas didn't let Louis finish. He pushed Louis to the ground. "You not only left without my permission, " He roared. "But you left the door unlocked. Anybody could have gotten in!" 

"You won't give me a key-" Louis choked out before Nicholas kicked him right in the chest. Louis tried to get up and scramble for the door, but Nicholas stepped around him and stood in his way. 

"I could kill you right now, Louis."

He loomed over Louis's cowering figure and kicked him again, this time in the face. Then again. And again. And again. 

Louis's crumpled form became nothing to Nicholas and that's exactly how Louis felt like. Nothing. As Nicholas continued to treat Harry like a soccer ball, Louis prayed that an angel would actually save him from this hell. 

He distantly heard a knock at the door. A few moments later, he heard the door open and the kicking stopped. Louis's felt too numb to get up. So he lay on the floor, hands on either side of his head, and blacked out.

~~~

Eventually Louis came to, and when he did, he was no longer on the floor, but in his bed. He tried to get up, but he was sore and bruised everywhere. He looked at the clock. 7:30. He had no recollection of the last 5 hours. He certainly didn't remember getting in bed. Someone knocked on the bedroom door. Strange. Nicholas wouldn't be one to knock.

Louis hid under the covers, peeking one eye out in case he'd have to identify someone for the police later. The door opened slowly, and in walked Harry with a tray of food. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Louis cried. Harry smirked. "You called for an angel." 

Louis faintly remembered sending out a little prayer as Nicholas played hackey sack with his body. 

"How did you know that?" Louis gasped. Harry sat down the food on the bedside table and leaned against the wall. "I told you. I'm an angel. Not only that... I'm your angel." 

Louis rolled his eyes. 

"I can't believe there's a crazy man in my bedroom and I don't have the strength to do anything about it. Where's Nicholas? What did you do with my boyfriend?"

Harry's gaze darkened. "You mean that brute who was beating the shit out of you? Don't worry, I took care of him."

Louis's eyes widened. "You don't mean..?" 

"No, I didn't kill him. But he's never coming around here again."

"What do you mean? This is his house!"

"He's signing it over to you." Harry said nonchalantly. Louis raised his eyebrows. "This is all crazy talk. I don't have the money to pay for this place!" He laughed. "What kind of an angel are you?"

Harry reached into his back pocket and pulled out a thick wad of cash. "THIS kind of angel."He handed the money to Louis and Louis just stared at it, agape. "This should be enough for the next few months... gives you time to get a job." Harry shook the money. "Here. Take it."

Louis shook his head. "Who are you Harry? Really?" Harry turned away from Louis and Louis thought he was going to leave. Rather, Harry lifted up his shirt. Louis stopped breathing. On Harry's back were little white wings. They lay flat and still.

Louis didn't know what was real anymore.

"C-Can I touch them?" He asked. Harry nodded and Louis winced as he sat up to stroke one of Harry's wings. They fluttered a little at the touch and Louis pulled his hand away in shock. 

Harry turned back around and Louis took in his beautiful face. Pale skin, kind, green eyes, slightly parted red lips. He looked nothing less than ethereal. 

"Wow." Louis whispered. "My own personal angel."

~~~

"So," Louis said with a mouthful of szechuan chicken. "Why are your wings so tiny?"

Harry and Louis sat on the living room couch , eating Chinese food and watching movies. "Well, I did only die a couple weeks ago." Harry answered "They grow with time.

"Can you fly?"

Harry shook his head. "Nope, not yet."

Louis turned back to Grease and tried to focus on the movie.

"So," He said after a while. "Why did you save me?"

Harry laughed. "What is this, 20 questions?"

Louis grabbed the remote and paused the movie. "I'm serious."

Harry took a small bite of crab rangoon.

"Harry?"

"I had a sister, Gemma." Harry finally said. He sighed heavily before continuing. "She died. In my arms. Heroin overdose." He turned to Louis, eyes greener from the tears in them. "I couldn't stand to watch someone else kill themselves. Not again."

Louis's heart dropped to his stomach as he reached out to wipe Harry's eyes. "Oh Harry..." Louis dropped his hand to hold Harry's face and Harry laid his own hand on Louis's. "It's okay Lou. Besides, I'm actually quite enjoying the whole angel gig."

"What was it like, Harry? Dying?" Louis needed to know. He'd danced with the thought of death so long he needed to know how accurate his fantasies were. 

Harry winced. "Oh, it hurts. Death is pain. Like your whole body is being ripped apart slowly, limb by limb. And the emotional agony." Harry shook his head. "Like you're feeling the pain everyone who's ever loved you must be feeling."

Louis looked down at his chicken. "Luckily for me, no one loves me. No one would miss me."

Harry put his arm around Louis and pulled his head to his chest. "Not anymore. You've got me.

~~~ 

Louis and Harry went on a walk, hand in hand. Harry was wearing a light jacket because, apparently, angels don't get cold. For the first time in years, Louis was smiling. Not only that, but laughing so hard his smoke-ridden lungs hurt.

As they turned around a corner, Harry was saying something about how cigarettes give you premature wrinkles but Louis could not hear him anymore as he filled with panic. Because across the street, sitting in the snow, shivering and scowling, was Nicholas. 

Louis? Did you hear anything I said?" Harry looked to see where Louis, who had frozen solid was staring and immediately yanked Louis back around the corner. 

"Louis? Louis, stay with me." Harry pleaded.

By this time, Louis had gone into complete shock and was trying to remember how to exhale. He could only take jagged breaths in, and was so sure he was about to suffocate. Harry stepped in front of Louis, whose eyes were unfocused and darting back and forth. 

"N-n-n-n-nich-" Louis stuttered, unable to speak. "Yes. That was Nicholas,but he didn't see you and you're safe. I'm here. Breathe with me." 

Harry took an exaggerated breath in and out and prompted Louis to do the same. Louis could not. Harry did it again and this time Louis managed to choke out a breath. His head felt light from the lack of oxygen and all he could think about was Nicholas turning the corner and strangling him. He could barely hear Harry begging him to breathe, to look at him, to do something. When Louis finally calmed down, he started to sob and fell into Harry's chest Harry wrapped his arms around him as Louis continued to cry. 

"Let's go home." Harry suggested. Louis nodded .

They hadn't gotten far, but after his panic attacks, Louis always felt like he'd ran 1000 miles. Weary and out of breath, Louis collapsed on his bed. Harry sat next to him and rubbed his back. In the beginning of their relationship, Nicholas would always give him back rubs when he was upset. Louis started to cry again, silently as tears rolled down his cheeks. He buried his head in the pillow so Harry wouldn't see, but angels know. 

"It's going to be okay, Lou. I promise."

Harry leaned down and kissed Louis's salt-stained cheek. "You're not going to leave a freckle, are you?" Louis asked. Harry laughed. "No that's just a myth." 

Louis rolled onto his back to look at Harry. His face was pink from the cold, but calm. He radiated warmth and safety. Louis started to feel safe again. "Will you sleep with me tonight?"

Harry lay on the bed and wrapped his arms around Louis's middle. "Sure thing beautiful." He smiled. Louis rested his hands on Harry's chest and inhaled. Harry smelled like milk and honey, Louis's second favorite drink (second only to English Breakfast). Louis flashed back to his mother making him milk and honey to put him back to sleep whenever he woke up in the middle of the night. This was when he was 5, before she hated him. He took in Harry's scent again, and again, and soon, he was fast asleep.

~~~

Louis awoke even closer to Harry. In fact, Harry was holding him so tightly Louis had as much trouble respiring as a rock. With a gasp, he untangled himself from Harry's grip and made his way to the kitchen. He searched the fridge, which was barren save a box of wine and a couple eggs. Louis sighed. He doubted two eggs would be enough to feed both him and Harry, and he was too afraid to walk down the street to the grocery store. Louis grabbed his cigarettes and went on the front porch. A smoke would have to suffice as breakfast; he'd make the eggs for Harry. 

Halfway through his cigarette, it was snatched from between his pointer and middle fingers. "Heeeey!" Louis whined. "Give that back Harry!"

Harry smirked. "Why would you want one of these cancer sticks anyways? They smell vile."

He handed the cigarette back to Louis and Louis took a drag. "Shame you're up so early, I was going to surprise you with breakfast." He said, ignoring the question. 

"That's sweet of you, Lou!" Harry said, beaming. "Thank you!"

Louis shrugged. "No big deal compared to everything you've done for me."

Harry slung his arms around Louis and gave him a wet kiss on the side of his head. Louis shivered. Before he got up, he paused to whisper in Louis's ear.

"Not all angels have wings."

Harry and Louis had a lazy day, lying around in their boxers and talking about whatever came to mind. Mainly, Louis asked Harry more questions about the life of an angel. Apparently,

1) Angels can't get drunk or high

2)Angels get paid shittons- but they must use it for a good cause.

3)Angel's wings are fully grown within 6 months after death, and can fly once their wings are fully grown

4) Angels can go invisible

5) Angels are very good kissers.

"Good kisser, eh?" Louis smirked. 

"Wouldn't you like to know."

By this time, Louis had polished off the rest of his boxed wine and Harry's eyes were starting to look even greener. With little spots of topaz.

"Are you alright?"

Louis snapped out of his little jade trance. "Oh. Yeah, sorry." Louis wondered how long he'd been staring at Harry. Normally he'd be very embarrassed, but his inhibitions had lowered substantially. 

"So you've GOT to start job searching tomorrow," Harry said sternly.

"Mm-hmm." Harry's lips were really red. 

"I'm serious! You've got a great place here, you don't want to lose it."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, but... that's not what I want to talk about right now."

"Well, what do you want to talk about?"

"I don't really want to talk." Louis slurred. Harry cocked his head and gave Louis an acerbic look. "You're drunk, babe." He scolded. Louis inched scooted closer to Harry and stuck his face in his face. "Don't call me babe if you're not going to treat me like one, babe." 

Harry's eyes turned a deeper shade of green, darkening with lust. Louis gave him a small peck on the mouth, just to taste. When he pulled away, Harry's eyes were half closed, eyelashes fluttering softly. Milk and honey lingered on Louis's tongue, wine and cigarettes on Harry's. At the same time, they leaned into each other, two bodies meshed together, moving in harmony. Hands wrapped around each other's heads, lips melting onto lips. 

According to his research, angels were very good kissers, Louis thought.

They pulled away, once again simultaneously. Somehow, Louis had snaked his way onto Harry's lap. They sat there staring, completely in awe of each other. 

"You're gorgeous." Harry said, breaking the stillness.

"Never mind that, have you seen yourself?"

"We could play this game all night... or we could keep making out."

Louis and Harry crashed into each other, kissing hotter and heavier this time. Louis straddled Harry's hips and Harry trickled his fingers down Louis's spine like raindrops. Louis couldn't believe his life was real;. Just a few weeks ago, Louis was dancing with the devil. Now he was kissing an angel.

~~~

"Do I look okay, Harry?" Louis was dressed in a plaid button down, khaki pants, and Harry's black oxfords.

Harry looked Louis up and down and gave him two thumbs up. "You look amazing. You're sure to get a job."

Louis frowned. "But like I said, I really don't have any job experience! And I barely graduated high school."

Harry crossed his arms. "Everyone needs a first job. That's how you get a second, and a third, and so on."

"Well I was a prostitute , remember?"

Harry scowled. "No way you're doing that again. You're mine."

Louis's heart felt like it twitched in his chest at those words. You're mine. 

"Just hit up restaurants and retail shops. A lot of them take people without experience."

"Can't you come with me?" Louis asked, again.

"It looks better if you go job hunting alone. Now come on," Harry pulled Louis in for a hug and rested his chin on top of Louis's head. "Go get 'em."

As soon as Louis made it outside, he lit an American Spirit to calm his nerves. At the first three shops, they weren't hiring, and at the next three, he was underqualified. Discouraged and upset, Louis considered going home after half an hour. Harry said he needed to be out for at least three, but Louis had a feeling that a kiss and a hug could get him inside. But he trudged on. Louis wanted to make Harry proud, and more than that, he wanted to make himself proud. He decided to try his luck at Brewed Awakenings. He was in there enough, he might as well get paid for it. 

The little bell sang as Louis entered the coffee shop. At the counter was a young man Louis'd never seen before. He was skinny, Pakistani, and absolutely gorgeous. His black hair had a streak of blonde and his tanned skin was taut and smooth. Total latte drinker.

"Hey welcome to Brewed Awakenings, can I get you something?"

"Yes, can I get an application please?"

The man look puzzled. His name tag read Zayn.

"I just started yesterday and I don't know where the manager keeps them..." Zayn said, starting to rummage through papers behind the counter. "Have you ever worked in a coffee shop before?"

"Er... no" Louis admitted.

Zayn nodded. "Me neither. This is my first job actually."

Louis's grin could've ate a shark whole. "This would be mine too! Is it easy working here?"

Zayn nodded again. "Oh yeah, so far. And you get 50% off coffee and baked goods!" Louis started to salivate. "Ah, here it is!" Zayn handed Louis an application over the counter. "Have a great day, okay?"

"You too!"

Louis walked home, clutching the application to his chest. He wanted to fill it out as soon as possible so he could take it back the same day. When he got back to the house, Harry was asleep on the couch. Louis was so excited, he wanted to wake Harry up by dancing around the sofa naked or something, but he let Harry rest and lay down in the bedroom, papers spread around him. 

Thirty minutes later, Harry had awoken and Louis was close to tears. "What's wrong, Lou?" Harry asked before even walking into the room. Angels know. "What am I supposed to put for references?" Louis wailed. "What am I, chopped liver? Why don't you put me?"

"And what am I supposed to put for occupation? God's messenger? Mystical being? Dead guy?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Just say I'm a construction worker or something. I used to do that."

"Lying isn't very angelic, Harry."

"Just write it. And put the number to this house down for my number."

Louis did as Harry said and looked up at Harry, an embarrassing shade of red. "Sorry I freaked out again."

Harry smoothed Louis's hair off his vermilion face. "You're fine, Lou. You'll learn how to deal with stressful situations. Just give it time." Louis shook his head sadly. "It doesn't take much to make it a 'stressful situation' for me. I have a tendency to overreact."

Harry reached his hand down to where Louis was slumped over his papers. "Come on. Let's turn in that application and we can talk about it over some English Breakfast, hmm?" Louis took Harry's hand and let him lead him all the way down to Brewed Awakenings. Zayn was still at the front of the shop and left to find his manager per Harry's request. Harry slipped Louis a five. "Talk to the manager and then order us drinks. I'll be sitting over there." He pointed to Louis's favorite window seat. Louis nodded and offered Harry a small smile. "Thank you for believing in me, Harry."

Harry gave Louis a quick kiss on the lips and jetted off. A perky blonde lady with pink streaks in her hair came through a door marked "employee's only" with Zayn by her side.

"Hi! Are you Louis?"

Louis swallowed and forced himself to speak. "That's me! How are you today?" Louis was shocked by the clear, confident tone that accompanied his voice. 

"Terrific! I'm Perrie. What can I do for you?"

Louis handed Perrie the stack of papers that he'd sweat and bled over for the past half hour. "I just wanted to turn in this application."

Perrie glanced over the papers for a few heartbeats before grinning up at Louis. "Thank you Louis! Do you have time to do an interview now?"

Taken aback, Louis's mouth opened so wide he was afraid a passing fly might mistake it for a cave. "Er... yeah, of course!" He finally croaked out. "Mind if I just let my umm... friend know?"

Perrie waved her hand. "By all means! Just come to the back when you're ready!" With a cheery smile, Perrie turned on her heel and exited through where she came from. Louis sprinted across the shop to where Harry was seated. "Harry!" He squealed. "They want me to interview right now, will you please wait for me?"

Harry jumped up and gave Louis a bear hug. "Just be yourself." He whispered. He released Louis and motioned with his hands for Louis to get out of his sight. Louis skirted off to the front of the store and rushed past Zayn, who winked and gave him a thumbs up as he passed through the "employees only" door. He thought about Harry's suggestion, to just be himself. Louis wasn't at the point where he liked himself very much, but he did love the coffee shop. He would just focus on that aspect of him, and make it very clear that he wanted to work there.

"You can sit here" Perrie said, gesturing towards a very comfortable looking rolly chair across from Perrie's even bigger rolly chair. A long oak table created an authoritative distance between them.

"So Louis," Perrie started. "Tell me about yourself. What are your ambitions?"

Louis explained that he was 24, and surprised himself by saying that he wished to go back to school next fall. He went on to rave about the shop and how he visited it almost every day. 

Perrie smiled. "I do see you in here a lot. That's why I wanted to interview you right away."

It was hot in the back, so Louis went to remove his jacket. He froze when Perrie flinched at the bandages on his arm. He'd forgotten he was wearing a short sleeve. Louis quickly covered himself back up, fully prepared to sweat his ass off. He prayed and prayed that his arm hadn't cost him a job. 

Perrie asked him a few more questions and Louis answered them to the best of his ability, in a professional voice he didn't know he had. 

"Hey Louis? I'm sorry to point this out, but I noticed that you had bandages on your arm. We use sharp knives to cut fruits and whatnot. Do you think that's going to be a problem for you?"

Louis shook his head vigorously. "No ma'am. I haven't self harmed in weeks. I don't plan on doing it ever again. I was in a very dark place but..." Louis paused. "I know I have angels watching over me to keep me safe."

Perrie smiled, a thoughtful look on her face. "You always came in looking like all the lights were off. Now you glow."

Louis put his hand over his heart. For once, he was happy it was still beating.


End file.
